Stupid Hormones

I didn’t post last night because I was really, really mad.  I was up 1.8 lbs.  Grrrrrrrr……

Now, to be clear.  I was under on my points all week.  Yes, we had a crazy weekend, but I was under the 49 points all week except for one day when I was at 51.  But still under the 58 I’m SUPPOSED to be eating according to the plan.

Thank god for my group though.  I do a lot of things online, but nothing online can compare to having a group of fabulous women supporting you in person.  They were upset for me too.  They started looking for reasons why this might be happening.  They groaned too when they heard that my husband eats EXACTLY what I do and yet has lost 20 pounds to my 6.  And then they asked if I was in menopause.  Apparently I am.  Things happen without warning.  I can go months happily thinking I’m done with the inconveniences associated with being female and then *WHAMMO*……my body decides to throw me a curve.  Which it did this morning.

Yup….I’m still female.  It does however take the sting out of that 1.8 lb gain.  And so the saga continues and I soldier on.   All is not lost….yet.  Get it??  All is not LOST!!   *donkey laugh*   I kill me.

Z is for Zebra

Zebra seems to be popping into my life a lot lately.  Not ZebraS….Zebra designs.  I have a friend *cough*Brandy*cough* who has a thing for Zebra designs and since I’ve been spending time with her it seems that Zebra-style is everywhere I look.

I first noticed it before Christmas.  I had to come up with decorations for my table at the craft fair.  I ended up with this:

I needed black and white so Zebra ribbon was a perfect fit.  Guess where that ribbon is now?

I bought fancy pencils this week for my music students.  There were Zebra pencils in the bag.  I held them up in front of you-know-who and they disappeared faster than ….well, considering the only witticism I can come up with here involves goose and some grossness, let’s just say it was FAST.  There’s no picture of them, well, because they’re gone.

Which brings me to this.  I’ve had this piece for quite a while.  I pulled it out this week and got looking at it again.

I swear….I’m seeing Zebraness everywhere.

It’s on this weekend’s to-do list.  Know anyone you think might like it?

Be Good to Yourself

So I’m having a little bit of an identity crisis.  Not really, personally…..I’m pretty sure I know who I am.  At least I do most days.  The identity crisis involves this blog.

While I, like many women, am very good at guilt, I’m not liking the guilt I feel if I miss posting on the blog.  If I’m not posting, it’s most likely because I haven’t managed to get anything creative done on that particular day because life has, once again, intervened.  The thing is, I didn’t want this blog to be a lot about me.  There’s plenty of personal blogs out there and while I enjoy reading them, that’s just not me.  I don’t mind sharing, but the whole point to this blog was to motivate: to motivate both me and my readers.  Somehow I just don’t believe that me getting into a lot of personal stuff is where I want to go.

That being said, sometimes what’s taking me away from my creative path is just plain personal stuff.  Whether it’s spending time with my husband, friends, or family or whether it’s just the dreary daily obligations to house and home, some days I just get nothing creative done.  Truthfully, I don’t feel dreadfully guilty about that….it’s not having something to blog about that I feel guilty about.

One of the things keeping me from creating, and thereby keeping me from blogging, has been a personal issue.  I need to get healthy.  My husband needs to get healthy.  We’re both way too fat.  I love to cook and we eat well….too well.  Add to that the amazing cooking skills of my friends and family and we’re in trouble.  We’re surrounded by amazing food.  We also work really wonky hours which makes it hard to eat properly.  We’re through copping-out and making excuses though.  I joined Weight Watchers with my girlfriend and we’re going to start eating healthy…we just are.  So it’s hard….we need to just suck it up and do the work or we’re going to continue to be tired, worn-out, and stretched to the limit.  And did you know that on the new Weight Watchers almost all FRUITS and veggies are zero points??  Zip, zero, nada.  Free fruit.  How easy is that??

So having done that, I’m going to get back to creating.  Which means I’ll be back to blogging regularly.  By taking better care of myself…by taking the time to be good to myself, I’ll be a better me…with a better blog.  *grin* That’s the plan anyway.  Try it…be good to yourself.  It won’t hurt.  I promise.

Gratitude

Is it just me that seems to take so much for granted?  I suppose it’s fairly normal but it’s something I really try not to do.  Whether you are Christian, Pagan, Agnostic, or Atheist, I think that most of us do realize that we often rely on holidays like Christmas to remind us to quit it.  Stop taking things for granted.  In particular, it’s a chance for us to show those that we are close to in our lives just how much we appreciate them.  My resolution this year is to strive to show my appreciation for those I love every chance I get.  To let them know just how grateful I am that they have humbled me with their love and friendship.

I spent the last week before Christmas building jewelry.  This time it wasn’t for the store.  The goal was not to make money.  The goal was to do things for those I care for…those I appreciate….those I’m grateful for.

When I bought my house ten years ago, the paint was peeling.  It wasn’t bad, but it had already begun.  I’ve spent the last ten years trying to find someone who would paint it.  It was a no-go.  Everyone said no….every single professional painter and handyman I asked.  When you see my house, you’ll begin to understand why.  It’s high….really high.  And shingle.  And weird angles.  *sigh*

Then our friend Bob came along.  Bob took one look at our house and said “I’ll paint your house”.  He didn’t even hesitate.  It took me 3 days to believe it.

This is my house before.  It’s cedar shake.  Cedar shake that was painstakingly and lovingly sanded by my husband.  It took almost a month but he was determined to do it right.

As you can see, my house is a little high.  It’s not really any wonder that no one wanted to tackle it.  No one but Bob.

So one day Bob shows up with his paint sprayer.  Over the next 2 days my house was transformed.

I still can’t really believe it.  We pull into the back driveway and just sit there.  Looking at our pretty blue house.

The thing about Bob though, is this.  He wouldn’t let me pay him for painting my house.  Flat-out refused.  I tried several ways of getting him to take something for all of his hard work.  No way.  So fine.  I then got sneaky.  I said “How about this….I’ve got you covered at Christmas time”.  He looked confused.  I explained that when Christmas came, he would have a beautiful piece of custom-made jewelry for his beautiful wife Pam.  I had him covered.  As understanding dawned on him he started to smile….then grin….then laugh.  He said OK….that would ROCK!

So Pam got a 3 carat Amethyst and 1 carat Aquamarine pendant for Christmas.  Made just for her….because of Bob.  Some people just get it.  Bob’s one of those people.  And we love him for it.

The Woman in Red

I’m going to share someone with you.  Someone very special.  Someone I have enormous respect for and who is one of the people I am fortunate enough to have inspire me.

I first met Amber Ward when she was Amber McGregor.  Her children were students of mine and I just really liked her.  I liked her parenting style, I liked how in-touch she was with her kids, I liked her take on life.  And she always had great hair.  Hey…I’m female.  Hair matters.

One of the strongest memories I have of Amber though is the day she came into my studio, looking absolutely stricken, and said quietly to me “I need to collect my children.  My best friend’s husband was just killed in an accident.”

It was one of those moments when time just stops.  Her face in that moment is frozen in my psyche.  I will never forget the depth of sadness I saw in her eyes, her face, her body-language.  While we waited for her children to gather their things, it occurred to me that I thought I knew who her best friend was.  I asked her who.  I was right.  It was Brandy.

Time stopped again.  I knew Brandy.  I had cast her in The Vagina Monologues, which I had directed a few years earlier.  If you’ve ever clicked on the Brandy Ink link on my blog, you know her too.  My heart just turned over and landed with a dull thump in my gut.  What do you do?  What do you say?  There’s not much to say.  You send your thoughts to them.  You wonder how you can help.  You go and hug the ones you love.

Then, only a week or so later, the unthinkable happened.  Amber experienced her own unspeakable loss.  I cannot even begin to imagine what these two amazing young women have experienced.

The thing is though, even though I know it’s been a journey filled with sorrow and pain for them, both of them have walked through it with profound dignity and grace.  I look at these two women and think “There’s the very embodiment of the strength of women”.  They’re also an example of how the friendships between women, the connection we’re capable of, can hold you up, even lift you up.  How we can choose to see the best in people, even be the best in people.

I went to a party last night at Amber’s home.  It was a party for Brandy to celebrate an event of astounding joy.  To watch both Brandy and Amber filled with joy was an honour and a privilege.  To see that they had both found love again, were both surrounded by great friends, loving children and family made my own heart feel very full.

I had been thinking a lot about joy lately.  Amber is a blogger as well and I had read her post about joy being a choice.  About how it’s ok to  seek it out and embrace it when we find it.  About letting it flow through us.  To see it in action was as magical as the Party Tree in the back yard that looked as if it had been decorated for the occasion by Woodland Elves and Faeries.

So if you’d like to get to know Amber a little better, you can click *here* or on the link in the sidebar.  Grab a cup of tea and take a moment for yourself.  You’ll be surprised what you learn about yourself through her journey.

The little red reindeer lives at Amber’s house now.  When I saw it, it just reminded me of her.  My husband, when he looked at it said “It’s perfect…if Amber were a reindeer THAT’S what she’d look like”.  I agree.  A glorious red reindeer, jumping for joy.